Saturday, March 14, 2020

Life Lately: CoronaVirus edition

Life has been nutty. SO nutty I don't remember the last time I wrote a blog post. A lot has happened in our lives, and a lot is happening in the world. While there is so much uncertainty, and fear and stress in the news/stores/internet, somehow there is peace and calm here in our home. Here's a bit about what we have been up to lately.

Tea makes you healthy, right?
I've been pretty sick for the last 8 days, with a gnarly head cold, coughing so hard I vomited three times Tuesday morning style gnarly. I stayed home Tuesday but I was at school every other day last week. My maternity leave back in fall was just my accumulated sick days, and after those ran out I was on differential pay, where they sub's pay comes out of my paycheck. Now when I'm sick I have to both pay the sub AND bring a dr note since my sick days are gone. I couldn't afford to pay a sub all week, and the dr I saw Monday only wrote me a note for one day, so yeah, I was teaching while I felt like death Wednesday - Friday. My school district made the announcement after school on Friday that school is cancelled for the next two weeks, and although I am sad to not be teaching I am also relieved to finally have the chance to get healthy. And another bright side is two weeks of cuddling a baby all morning 7 days a week. Double bonus good timing = being sick as a dog all week the one week it actually rains in Orange County :)

Before the illness I was in the full swing of training, which felt good. Like really good. But now more than a week into this terrible cold I feel like the train is totally off the rails. Add to that the fact that every bike race this spring has been cancelled, and it's pretty hard to feel motivated. I am still sick, so maybe when the head ache and sore throat are gone I will feel more like resetting my intentions, and jumping back in the game, but right now, man, I don't even feel like an athlete.

A picture from back when I was healthy,
what feels like a lifetime ago
On the bike note, I have been watching the posts of the other ultra endurance women I know who are/were pregnant and riding up through 40 weeks and I'm not going to lie, it's been making me feel a bit bad about myself. I'm sure their intent isn't to make others feel lazy or pathetic, but that comparison game is hard, and considering I pulled the plug on riding bikes around 32 weeks preggo, it's hard to not feel like I failed/wasn't strong enough/wasn't extreme enough when two people I know are posting every day about riding all the way through to delivery. On top of that seeing Laura's 'I hiked 5 miles 5 days ppd' stories on Insta had a similar effect, and again, I'm working really hard at telling myself that I'm not 'less than' because I am not the most extreme athlete mom in the room. I'm not sure how this translates to my social media though, because I realize that working, breastfeeding and training is a lot, and I may be making some woman out there feel bad that she wasn't doing all those things by 6 months, and I DO NOT want anyone to feel that. These are all thoughts I need to process more, but yeah, it's something I'm thinking about and dealing with. Just know though that at the end of the day I am mostly just very impressed by and stoked for Sonya and Laura. What they are doing is incredible and impressive. Just trying to keep it real at the same time.

Every day I come home, sit on the front porch and soak it in. 
Our house sold. So that's a thing. We put it on the market on Feb 27 and within a week we accepted an offer (after a brief and stressful bidding war). I'm not going to lie, I DID NOT like the process of selling the house. Thank goodness Brendan has a logical head on his shoulders because I wanted to just give the house to every person who wrote us a heartwarming letter about their family and how much they wanted to live here. Anyway, we get to stay in the house until May 15, which is really nice because the house and yard finally look like I always dreamed they would and I want to savor the next two months they are ours. This is a double bonus with the school closure, more time to enjoy our home :)

All the fruit trees blossomed at the perfect time for selling a house, and for making one second guess if they actually want to leave said house.

And that's pretty much all the time I have to record my thoughts because a baby is stirring in the next room and if I don't get up and pee now I will pay a price...