Baby Update #2 ONE MONTH OLD!!!

HOW on earth is this little baby a month old already?!?! I want to reverse time EVERY DAMN DAY to go back 4 weeks and start over from the golden skin to skin hour, so we can relive every moment we have spent with her so far. I know there is a lot to look forward to, but the first 4 weeks have been so incredible and sweet that I just want to stay in the newborn phase for a while longer.

These are not the thigh rolls of a newborn...
or are they? haha

While sweet cheeks is 4 weeks old, she doesn't look like a newborn to me anymore. And to be honest I don't even really know the definition of newborn, is it the first 2 weeks? first 6 weeks? When is she no longer a newborn? Guess we have something else to google search. Speaking of, I cannot imagine having a baby without Google. I know it's a little risky turning to the internet to answer questions, BUT it's so easy to just ask my phone what newborn diarrhea looks like when I get worried and to just look at 100 pictures of 'normal' newborn poop which reassures me that no, my baby does not have diarrhea. What did my mother do when she was worried about the development of her babies, the color of their poop, how to wash reusable diapers...?

We continue to learn a lot on a daily basis, including the following:

Having a baby has the effect of dredging out the depths of your patience well to an almost infinite depth. No matter how many hours I spend awake at night I am never frustrated, pissed, angry, it's just a thing you do and somehow no matter how tired I am I still feel tenderness and love towards the sleep terrorist at all hours of the night! It's blowing my mind that I am capable of walking laps to keep her from screaming for HOURS every night like it's just a normal thing we do now haha.

Being a mom means you CANNOT sleep through even the tiniest little baby noises. It's so weird because I was a crazy deep sleeper, and now she grunts and I'm wide awake. This is especially fun from 4-6am when she lays in our bed grunting every 2 minutes (I think she is pushing out poops) which is JUST frequent enough so that I start to fall asleep and then, grunt, I'm wide awake again. A friend asked 'why don't you just go sleep in another room?' and yes, that is the obvious answer, but for now I can't pry myself away from the sweet little nugget dozing in our bed, so I endure the 2 extra hours of missed sleep to not miss a minute of her in this stage.

Having a baby is crazy bad for the environment, or maybe it's just us, but if you use disposable diapers, that baby is going to poop the second you put a freshie under her (another thing we've learned, babies love peeing and pooping as soon as cold air hits their tush), so many diaper changes end up wasting 2 or 3 diapers. We did not invest in newborn reusable diapers since she will grow out of them so fast, but the 5 we have are not enough to last a whole day, so we use 50% disposable and the guilt about my contributing to the landfill, it's crushing my soul. Soon we will be in all cloth diapers though, so then it will be running the washer every day that causes my guilt. I also admit that I have turned the vacuum on and left the room a few time because that's the only way to get her to sleep alone so I can get stuff done in the morning... so yes, we use more electricity now too.

pumping in the van like everyone does this, right??
#vanlife mom status

Breastfeeding in public is much less awkward for me than it probably should be, haha. The first time we went out to eat with Baby A and Brendan's parents and she cried out of hunger I just whipped out the boob and bam, she was snacking away. I talk to people who seem afraid or ashamed to breastfeed in public and then I think, hmmm, maybe I should dial back the public nudity a bit and try to be just a little discrete haha. But really this little bean has been pretty easy. We go out to the dog park, and Home Depot and if she cries I feed her, if she has a dirty diaper I change it whenever and where-ever and it's been pretty low stress so far. I even pumped breast milk in the van the other day while driving to the tile store on a hot date with Brendo while Taryn Watched the bean.

Speaking of Taryn, that's another thing I've learned big time. We have the best friends and family in the world. Taryn came to CA this week and held the baby for me, cooked us so many incredible meals, and helped with the laundry, painting, diaper changes etc and it was HEAVEN! If you know someone with a newborn go hang out with them and just insist on holding the kid, it was heaven! I love this baby, but to be able to get stuff done for more than 10 minutes at a time was incredible. I did have to let go of some pride/guilt though because it's surprisingly humbling to have someone in your house just volunteering to fold your laundry, cook you food, wash your dishes, esp if you are sitting on the couch or napping. BUT so freaking heavenly too. I now know that going over to a new mom's house and insisting on holding the baby is a much better gift than any adorable newborn outfit.

And I think I mentioned this in the last post but I've learned in a big way that just sitting with the baby, laying in bed for an extra 20 minutes with her, watching her sleep, is just as valuable and productive as painting the walls, installing tile etc. I'm still struggling with the remodel and wanting to do physical work all the time, but I'm letting go of the feeling of accomplishment from those concrete tasks and enjoying being still a little more. I can't complain about her growing up too fast if I don't spend a few hours a day watching her sleep :)

On that note Brendan and baby just woke up so I'm off to stare at an adorable face for a while. Happy weekend everyone!