Monday, April 2, 2018

#anotherbestday

I got asked the question the other day how the mindset #anotherbestday started for me, and so, since I only have a min to write today (gotta start tiling the bathroom floor! eek) I figured this is the best option for kicking off a week of blogging during my Spring Break stay-cation!

When I left home at 20 years old to attend UC Davis I was essentially friendless and alone in a new place for the first time in my life. I had never lived alone before, and had basically no friends from high school/community college (I was kind-of a loaner) and the first few weeks living in Davis were lonely and kinda boring. And let's just put all the cards on the table, I was super super strapped for cash, paying for college on my own, unable to get federal loans (stupid rules about age and parent's income...) and working part time, so things weren't really great.

Soon after moving into an apartment across the st from campus somehow I came up with the idea that people want to be friends with happy people, that focusing on my misery was definitely not attracting friends. I made the conscious decision to smile a lot, laugh, and to compliment the people around me because who wouldn't want to be my friend if I was telling them they smelled nice, or had pretty eyes. I also decided that I wasn't going to judge anyone based on their lifestyle or choices. I grew up in a very critical home, where the church encouraged us to judge others, so I decided that I was going to open my mind and celebrate others' decisions as different but beautiful. I'm not this crazy/nice anymore (although I often wish I was), but this is how it started, driven by necessity as I was alone in a new place.
From back when we were too poor to buy sweatbands, we had to use teeshirt sleeves :)
Well college was great and I guess the idea worked because I met a bunch of cool people, including best friends and husband. The best part though is that during the poorest stretch of my life, I somehow tricked myself into thinking I was so happy (and I was, like the more I thought I was happy the more I really was happy) and I think that's where another best day was born for me. When I had close to nothing, when I often contemplated which bridge I would live under if I couldn't pay the rent (for the balcony I was living on), when I ate nothing but fruit from the research orchard, or dumpster bagels for days during the summer, when I had to work as much as possible to buy books and pay bills, then real treats, like a coffee purchased with spare change or a 2 hour bike ride were so so exciting/fantastic/incredible/wonderful. And over time, especially after graduating and moving south, getting a job and getting married, I've tried to remember how lucky I am to go on those bike rides, to explore new places, to eat a scone from a coffee shop. Each of the little pleasures in life that I sometimes take for granted would have been mind blowing awesome back in the college days, so that perspective helps remind me what a terrific life this is. Choosing to view something as 'the best' can turn a routine thing into something incredible, and personally I would rather have an incredible breakfast than just another waffle :) And maybe my mind is a little cracked out now on joy, but I really did have so much fun on that mountain bike ride that I was shaking... times most mountain bike rides I've ever been on.


IT'S THE BEST DAY!
And they aren't always best days, I know. I had a really rough time at the end of 2016, lots of tears shed, lots of anguish, but college also taught me that most likely stuff will get better. And maybe feeling the sad/frustrated/shitty days feelings makes the best days really really awesome, even if it's just a day spent tiling the bathroom. I find myself getting frusty, or comparing 'why do they get to...' but if I come back to that pep talk 'if you think it's gonna be the best it WILL be the best' and that sets me straight more often than not.



New kit day = mega best day... more on that tomorrow.
I feel that I need to add, if my #anotherbestday makes you depressed, or feel like your life sucks, I am really honestly sorry, but I would LOVE to ride bikes with you or buy you a scone to make whatever shitty situation you are dealing with a little less terrible. I know life sometimes throws stuff at you so not every day can be everyone's best day, but keep your chin up, it will get better, hopefully.

1 comment:

  1. I agree. You have to have a bad day once in a while or you wouldn't know what a good day is!

    Joey Ruffino

    ReplyDelete