Monday, February 12, 2018

Life Lately: Lessons from my Students Edition

I haven't written anything IN FOREVER, and really that makes my hear sad. You all know that I'm just really stupid busy right now with work, coaching, training, trying to renovate a bathroom and just doing all the normal life stuff like laundry that never seems to end. To be clear though, I LOVE being so busy. Yes it gets exhausting and I rarely have 10 minutes to read a book or reply to FB messages (sorry anyone who has tried to get a hold of me that way!), but I am horrible when I don't have a lot going on, like nothing gets done horrible. Why is it that I am so much more efficient/productive when my plate is too-full?

Anyway, I have A LOT I need to catch up on here, about sponsors for this year, my race situation for 2018, and about racing this past weekend, so look for more consistent posts in the  coming weeks! For now though, a quick update and some 'deep' thoughts as I lay in bed sick as a dog on a Monday (be forewarned, this may be excessive congestion meds talking...)

On Friday in my 'algebra support' class, a class for students not historically successful in math to give them an extra boost in Algebra 1, a student said to his peer "you know, you bring these problems on yourself" and I thought to myself, Jesus, you are so, so wise. (The whole topic of starting to see so many different forms of intelligence in my lower performing students is basically a novel waiting to be written, but this job of educating 9th graders is fascinating, and completely overwhelming in it's beauty sometimes).

Anyway, Jesus was more right than he knows, and I have been thinking about that eavesdropped conversation all weekend. On Friday around noon I could tell I was getting a sore throat. I hoped it was from the super ridiculously dry climate in socal, but deep down I could tell it was a head cold coming on. I had already signed up to 'race' a gravel event on Saturday in Bakersfield (a WHOLE blog post on it's own because it was one hell of an amazing event) and the weekend's plans also included a monster ride on Mt. Pinos on Sunday with friends, so getting sick was pretty much not an option.

Cue the deep thoughts on life I am currently pondering. So who I am, what makes me Larissa Connors, besides smiling a lot and being kinda obnoxiously loud, is that I really really love to push myself to the limit. Obvi this is why I love racing bikes, and why the ultra endurance stuff seems so fitting for me. But the problem is that sometimes don't know when to stop and raise the white flag, to  take a knee and give it a rest.

Who could pass up riding with these rad shredders?
Since the illness was just in my head/throat I opted to drive to Bakersfiled Friday night, go to bed early and hope that 9 hours of sleep would cure me. It didn't. But by that point I was already there, the idea of suffering for 5 hours with all the coolest kids in Socal was too tempting... I was out there pushing pedals despite that little nagging voice in my head saying 'is this really the right thing to do?'

Sunday was  the same situation, woke up feeling not too great, did half the ride with the guys, pushed that nagging voice that kept whispering 'bad idea' out of my mind.

I felt pretty miserable, but the scenery plus the two girl scout cookies Menso gave me after the 20 minute hike a bike made me a pretty content kid on Sunday. 

I bring these problems on myself. Being so sick right now is obviously a result of not resting this weekend when the cold was little and manageable and just needed time off, in bed. It seems obvious that the right thing to do would have been to take the weekend off and NOT pushed myself. It sometimes seems like this is a lesson I am forever trying to learn, and constantly failing at, BUT if I didn't have this ridiculously addictive personality, would I still be me? Like isn't this drive to push myself to the limit what makes me who I am? I know life is about finding balance and trying, failing, trying again, so maybe this is just my life long struggle. But, yes, Jesus, I admit, I bring these problems on myself. Once again (because I have said this many many times before, and I will most likely say it again many times before I die), I will try to do better, ride less, sleep more, do a little better job listening to my body.

Here is a pretty picture from Mt Pinos trail on Sat night to break up all the text :)
And most importantly, sorry coach, for not doing the best job listening to you. I'm hoping that you stick around because you know my addictive personality plus your guidance wins races. I will always be fighting this battle to reign it in, but I appreciate more than you know how patient you are with me. I will try to do better, that's life in a nutshell, right?

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