Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Pulling the Plug and Other Random Thoughts on a Tuesday

Riding home today I could not get my HR to 130. Try as I might, it just wanted to hover between 116-120. So after twenty some minutes of trying to warm up, and 2 pathetic power intervals I texted coach to tell him, and got the reply that I should pull the plug and go home. While my immediate reaction was a feeling of relief, the second text that read 'and take a rest day tomorrow' immediately made me regret telling coach anything and filled me with a bit of despair (drama queen much?). 

Happy place for sure :)
During the 45 minute pedal home I reflected on this funny reaction. Leaving school I was not looking forward to the workout, to be completely honest I was feeling burnt out and just plain tired. But being told to drive to work flips a switch in me and makes me want to suffer (I even texted back begging to do the workout tomorrow instead of taking an off day). How weird is that? I know in my head that the rest will make me stronger, but oh it is so hard to get in the car and leave the bike at home! This probably sounds nutty to most people, but riding to work and back is my meditation. It's the hour in the morning when my mind can be blank and I can focus on the feeling of the cool air on my face and turning smooth circles with the pedals. It's the 1-3 hours in the afternoon when I can reflect on how the lessons went, take out any frustrations of the day on the pavement. I do my best thinking on the bike, and feel empowered by the ability to transport myself to work without a motor or gasoline. It's my happy place. 

But, despite my desperate desire to ride my bike to school tomorrow I will drive, like a regular, normal American adult, and I am sure I will live through the ordeal :)

And another point I've been pondering lately, I HATE admitting I'm tired, to a fault. It feels weak to need a day off, or to not feel great after a 5.5 hour ride in the mountains. So instead of acknowledging the stress put on my body from training full time and working a physically demanding job, and continuing to travel to races on the weekend I press on and tell myself and others that I am NOT TIRED! I push myself to do hours of yard work after 50 mile mtb rides and then wake up early the next day to go ride more. I pack in all the chores and errands after school to get stuff done, instead of sitting my butt down and letting my poor legs rest from riding and standing all day. So this it me, admitting to the world that it is ok to feel tired, and that it is ok to take an extra day off (I usually don't ride on Fridays already, so tomorrow is an EXTRA day off the bike). And that's where I am at the moment, a little burnt out, a little tired, and trying to use my brain and do the right thing by resting. Legs up, Chai tea in hand, on my butt for the next 2 hours. And it feels kinda good :)

Hope everyone has a chill week with some good 'feet up' moments!