It's Wednesday night and I'm still sick, in bed. Didn't ride a bike today, may not get to ride a bike tomorrow. This time of year is especially busy, with Grad night tomorrow night (I volunteered to chaperone because I can't work at graduation), State Championships on Sunday, end of the year staff party Sunday night, finals next week, and more traveling to race my bike next Thursday. I should also be laying down another serious block of training to prepare for some really important upcoming races, think Missoula XCT and CO Springs US Cup, but instead I am sitting on my butt, waiting to be healthy.
The worst part is that I can look back at the recent past and identify a few key decisions I made that most likely put me here. Traveling to CO for a little over 30 hours to race at altitude is probably the biggest decision I made to get here, but I'm going to say that one was worth it. On Sunday, when I landed in Orange County, Brendan picked me up and we drove straight to Laguna to ride bikes. That's the big one I should have done differently. I knew in my head that catching up on sleep was the right thing to do, but riding bikes with my favorite people on my favorite local trails was too tempting. I may have also jumped in the ocean after, and then gone home and made mulberry pie instead of napping. Pretty lousy decision making.
I'm pretty sure if I had slept instead, today I would be healthy enough to have done intervals after school. Instead I might not even get to do them tomorrow. It's easy to obsess about what I should have done differently, the hard part is to put that behind me. To look forward, focus on what's going to make me healthy now and stay focused on making the right decisions in the future. I am a little scared I will keep making terrible decisions, but the pain of being off the bike is pretty good conditioning to help me not make better choices in the future.