Monday, October 13, 2014

Thoughts on a Particularly Rough Monday

I've heard a lot of no's in the past few months (in relation to bike racing) and oddly, despite the fact that these closed doors should make me sad, I've really just become more appreciative of the yeses in my life. I've never been more grateful for a full time job that I actually enjoy doing. I've appreciated the heck out of being married to a super cute bike engineer, and I've been oh so happy to own our little canyon home. I've spent the past two summers traveling all over the country racing my bike and I've met tons of amazing people who have taught me a ton about bike racing, life and having fun. I'm stoked beyond words for those experiences, and for the chance to ride so many fun, sexy bikes.
 These closed doors do make me wonder sometimes though. Is this a sign that this period in my life is over? Why am I really doing all this bike racing stuff, and is it all worth it? If I never make it to the "top" or where ever one strives to go in bike racing then why did I dedicate so many hours of my life to training and traveling and being so poor? Am I the type of person who can keep fighting when things get hard?

I'm not sure of much in life right now. All I know is that I really really like riding bikes, fast, and trying to beat all the boys. I know that I love commuting to school, and going on 5 hour rides on the weekends, and that the people in the bike world are my people.

Maybe in a few weeks I will feel more like fighting for the dream again, but for now I want to marinate in these questions. I want to ride my bike to make my soul happy and not worry about how I'm going to make ends meet, or get to far off races. I want to meet new people, and ride with old friends and maybe along the way I will find some answers. 

1 comment:

  1. Let's ride this weekend and talk about trails, dreams, bikes, and fun.