Tuesday, August 26, 2014

End of Summer, Start of Off Season, and Fishes

I have about 2 more days of summer left before teacher work days start. Over the past week I have been enjoying every last minute of summer, from staying in bed until 9am, to swimming in the ocean, to wrapping up a few house projects I started WAY back in June.
My fave beach in Laguna, at least until the waves tried to drown me on Thursday.

The bike racing season seems to end just in time to squeeze every last drop of goodness out of the freedom of summer before the routine of waking up early and real world work begins. Each year when bike racing is over I feel a bit lost as to what to do with all my time. Last year I started going to yoga, obsessively. I would go for 2-3 hours a day up to 3 days a week. It was a bit crazy, but I loved the challenge of doing a new sport, one where I wasn't even close to being the best one in the room. This year I am still doing some yoga, but Brendan started taking me rock climbing as well. I have no pictures because every minute in the gym I want to be climbing and or watching Brendan climb. It's a great sport because it's like putting a 3-d puzzle together, and it obliterates my arms and back each time. Anyway, that is how I'll be spending my off season, yoga and climbing, and cycling to school. Life is good here in Orange County :)

The last thing on my mind is an analogy that I head twice yesterday. It goes something like "It's better to be a big fish in a small pond, then a small fish in a big pond". Two people used it when discussing my dreams with me, but one said I should be the small fish, and the other said I should be the big one. This really got me to thinking about which I would rather be. Right now I think I want to be a relatively small fish. Yeah there is the danger I will get eaten, but if I stay in that small pond I wont have room to grow, to improve, to be inspired by or pushed by bigger fish. I love winning bike races, but I think I am happiest when I cross the line with nothing left in my legs and lungs. I'm happiest when I survive until the last lap in a field stacked with legit women, and even though I finish 15th I know that I gave it all I had. I have done a lot of personal growth this year in races where I don't finish in the top 5, when things went wrong, and when I had to learn to deal with disappointment. I think the successes are sweeter when you put yourself up a bigger challenge as well.

Anyway, that's where I am right now. It's been a bit of a rough week so far, but I guess off season is a good time to reflect on past decisions, and future plans, and to recommit myself to my goals and dreams.
Thanks to all of you who wholeheartedly support me. I could not make it without your cheers, advice and love.

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